Where Is The Value In Singleness?

Why You Should Opt Out Of The Dating Race
August 10, 2017

Where Is The Value In Singleness?

1 universe, 8 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas, 6 billion people … and “yes” – you are still single. What’s more, the day that many single people dread is once again upon you. It’s that special day when Cupid’s arrows are supposed to cap you in the buttocks. Instead, the flying baby wearing the Huggies takes off on a vacation. This was designed to be a happy holiday, but it ends up being dreadful.

Your choices:

• Mean mug the opposite sex out of spite for the next 24-hours.

• Send a huggable, life-sized red and white bear, covered with chocolates, to yourself.

• Go to dinner with friends and stare in envy at every couple in the restaurant.

• Cry hysterically to your mom, causing her to make your dad send you flowers.

• Be THANKFUL and content in the season God has you in.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1 ESV).

Have you ever paid attention to married people reminiscing about the “good ole days” when they were bachelors and bachelorettes? The same can be said of single people who cannot wait to get married. Our fallen nature easily triggers us to become dissatisfied as opposed to being content like the Apostle Paul instructed.

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content (Philippians 4:11 ESV).

Instead of dreading your singleness, see the value in it.


While a relationship can be a blessing, any worthwhile connection requires work. This equates to time you must invest. Singles at our Home-Team gatherings in Dallas and Houston have heard me utter the following statement: “If you’re not willing to do the work, don’t apply for the job.” While the ONE will be worth your time, the multitudes of WRONGS are not. Therefore, retire the relational clutter, and begin a new hobby. Dedicate yourself to more intimate time with God, and give Him your whole heart.


Many singles employ what I refer to as relational bumper cars. They play the role of NBA stars Kobe and Lebron and rebound from person to person. The sole reason can be traced to codependence. The effect is that they have a dispensable paradigm concerning people in which no one person is ever significant. What’s worse is that they may never heal from their conveyor belt of relationships.

Be still, and know that I am God… (Psalm 46:10 ESV).

Jesus paid the ultimate price for our healing. To access His perfect work completed at Calvary, we may need to hide our cellphones and fast social media for a period of time. Slowing down and embracing solitude with our Creator is essential to mending past wounds and disappointments. God deserves it, and we need it.


What makes you think you can get to know someone else if you have never taken the time to get to know yourself? If you stay in the process of “elimination frenzy,” narrowing down prospects to the last one standing, the weeks, months and years invested will prevent you from getting to know an incredibly worthwhile person— YOU. This is not only desirable, but crucial for self-assessment, self-development and your ability to one day give substantially to your spouse and children.


The Apostle Paul makes a candid statement that many singles dread to recite:

So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better (1 Corinthians 7:38 ESV).

The apostle’s point should not be taken begrudgingly, kicking and screaming, but instead should be embraced for its preeminent worth. As single people in this season of our lives, we have the privilege of having undistracted, focused time ALONE with Christ. Do not waste your season! While marriage is a blessing from God, it requires selfless giving and laborsome work. Once you say “I do,” there is no “Back to the Future” DeLorean time machine. You cannot get your singlehood back. While you have it, dedicate your whole heart, time and energy 100 percent to Christ.